BREAKING: WNBA Announces Newest Expansion Team, the Worcester Renaissance

by | Feb 1, 2018 | The Lampoon | 0 comments

WORCESTER – The Women’s National Basketball Association [WNBA] announced today that they would be adding an expansion team for next season, the Worcester Renaissance.

“We’re very proud that we can locate a professional women’s basketball team here in the heart of Massachusetts,” said Renaissance team owner James Creigh.

When asked how they decided on a name for the team, Creigh emphatically said it was a no-brainer.

“It’s literally all anyone talks about it here. The term ‘Worcester Renaissance’ runs on several local news sites every single day. Frankly, we have no idea what they’re talking about, but the name rings true to the WNBA and makes as little sense to us as the New York Liberty, Chicago Sky and Miami Sol do,” Creigh said.

The Renaissance inaugural season will kick-off this summer and will play the team will play its home games at Worcester’s DCU Center. Creigh is looking forward to what happens between now and then in Worcester.

“In hindsight, we may have put a little pressure on us and the city by choosing this name. The city isn’t exactly screaming ‘Renaissance,’ you know what I mean? The only enlightening creativity I’ve seen in my short stay here have been clever sayings written by homeless people on cardboard boxes.”

“The other day I saw one that said, ‘I’ll f*%k for a buck.’ Incredible,” Creigh added.

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The Worcester Lampoon is a news satire branch of We use made-up names in all of our articles, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Our goal is to poke fun at Worcester with more class and taste than you can imagine in your small brain.