WORCESTER – After conducting multiple interviews with local dogs, the Worcester Lampoon has concluded that Worcester’s four-legged friends can’t wait for the multiple obstacles of homeless people, hyperdemic needless and a busy four-way intersection at the city’s newest downtown dog park.

Mr. Scruffy, a scottish terrier from Worcester’s Tatnuck Square area, told the Lampoon he’s thrilled about the people he will meet at the new park.

“I won’t necessarily let any of them pet me because theyr’re likely to be more filthy than I am, but I am a huge fan of people watching. And who doesn’t like getting the shit scared out of you — literally — by loud horns and people shouting?,” Mr. Scruffy said in a recent interview.

The park is going to be placed at the intersection of Foster and Franklin streets along the railroad tracks on Green St. The park will only be 14,500 square feet.

“Thank god I don’t like to run. And will there be a wait list? It sounds like this will be a VIP-type park, but without any of the VIP amenities,” said Barry, an American bulldog.

“Where in God’s name are we going to park?” asked Barry’s owner, Ralph Nelson. “There’s literally nowhere to park. And why would anyone living downtown own a dog?”

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