Leonardo da Vinci Rolling in His Tomb Every Time the Term ‘Renaissance’ is Used to Describe Worcester

by | Jan 25, 2018 | The Lampoon | 0 comments

AMBOISE, FRANCE – Visitors at the Chapel of Saint Hubert in Amboise, France have been continuously spooked over the past year or so as echoes of spinning bones from inside Leonardo da Vinci’s tomb have occurred on a daily basis.

For months, scientists and archaeologists were baffled by the sounds emanating from da Vinci’s tomb. It was until recently, Dr. James Smochen, a natural history professor from Clark University in Worcester, made the connection between the constant use of the term “renaissance” by Worcester media outlets to describe necessary downtown development and da Vinci’s flipping over and over in his tomb.

Smochen told the Lampoon, “You have to understand. Leonardo da Vinci is the epitome of a Renaissance man. For these news outlets in Worcester to use that term ad nausea day in and day out to refer to new buildings in a small city is clearly pissing da Vinci off. And, quite frankly, who could blame him?”

“These reporters are acting like this development just sprouted from the ground miraculously. da Vinci once said, ‘Art is never finished. Only abandoned.’ And the same could be said about downtown Worcester in the 1980s and, inevitably, five years from now,” Smochen added.

At press time, staff at the Chapel of Saint Hubert had to hold da Vinci’s skeleton down because Telegram & Gazette, MassLive and Worcester Magazine all used the term “renaissance” in the same one hour period because a wig shop opened up on Main St.

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The Worcester Lampoon is a news satire branch of ThisWeekinWorcester.com. We use made-up names in all of our articles, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Our goal is to poke fun at Worcester with more class and taste than you can imagine in your small brain.