WORCESTER – While many would consider this a steep price to pay, Worcester’s newest downtown City Square luxury apartments on Front St. are requiring possible tenants for a security deposit in the form of a guarantee of ownership of the tenants’ first born child.

“It’s not exactly affordable in terms of future offspring, but everyone keeps telling me there’s a ‘renaissance’ happening downtown and, quite frankly, I need to be part of it. My family name be damned,” said Scott Wolfpuck, a graduate of WPI and a financial advisor in Boston.

According to Wolfpuck, he’s happy that he can now take the commute from Worcester to Boston and look directly across the street at multiple forms of transportation to get him to work each day.

“I may not see my first child grow up, but I will get to see the Peter Pan buses pull in and out each morning, which will be exciting,” Wolfpuck told the Lampoon.

According to property manager, Randall Grimer, the response from potential tenants to rent a luxury apartment downtown thus far has been surprisingly underwhelming.

Grimer said, “We thought this would be a no-brainer. Asking so much from people to live in downtown Worcester seemed like a fair exchange to us. We may need to re-think this. Yes, we will own their first child and they have to pay for parking, but imagine the stories they get to tell their friends about the characters they will meet each day downtown. Can’t put a price tag on that.”

“And let’s not forget that there’s a pool here,” Grimer added.

At press time, Grimer and Wolfpuck were shooting pool in the “game room.”

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